In a World of “You Shoulds”

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In a World of “You Shoulds”

“Everyone tells you what’s good for you. They don’t want you to find your own answers. They want you to believe theirs.”

Dan Millman

Did you start watching Game of Thrones because everybody was watching it? Did you do the ice-bucket challenge? Did you do the 10-year challenge or the kiki challenge? Are you on tik-tok? 

In the current hyper-connected world, we are our hashtags. And if you are not part of the hashtag family, you are mocked and thought of as dull, and let’s face it, who wants to be called boring? Most of the challenges that go viral have a deeper meaning to them, lost in being a part of the crowd. That is how it happens in life too. To become someone that others expect of us, we lose our sense of purpose. And this facade of being someone else is exhausting; it is not a one-time role. Eventually, you forget the real person hidden behind those facades. 

Some artists are working with keys, athletes working in finance, dancers are performing with scalpels. There is an ingrained belief in prestige in several professions. It is the label that comes with being a doctor who commands respect, not what the label entails or the years of effort to be a doctor. 

Give yourselves enough time to explore what you want to do. Your dreams change as you grow. There are very few people in the world who know what they love and what is their higher purpose. 

“It’s hard enough to figure out who you are without knowing that someone out there has an opinion on it.” – Alex Kennedy.

  1. The answer lies in the magma chamber

In order to do what you love, you need to look within. All your answers lie within you. If you know what you are made of, you can control whether you want to stay dormant or erupt. Turn your attention to the person living within you. Do not create your reality before it becomes your present.

  1. The decade rule.

Visualize the kind of life you would want to be living after a decade. Do not limit your imagination to reasonable boundaries. Imagine you have the best possible resources and you are able to utilize them fully. Attach yourselves emotionally to your visions rather than people’s opinions. Your emotions manifest in ways you don’t even realize. Your visions are personal victories. No one but you have the power to change them. 

  1. Your purpose has no expiry date.

Several dancers limit dancing as their hobby because they have financial liabilities. Sometimes we have to remove the glasses of our passions and wear the glasses of reality. But if your purpose in life is strong enough, you will carve out a way. After they have established themselves, several lawyers tend to decrease the number of cases they take and pursue what they want to do. Budding entrepreneurs save their salaries to invest in their purpose. Have a vision that lets you plan your life in the long run. Do not set an expiry date for your purpose. It is a work in progress.

  1. People are judges without a degree.

The only thing free in this world is opinions. Do not let their opinion become your reality. Do not seek inspiration from the world that feeds on criticism and judgments. People may be as clueless as you are, following others, and claiming to have a sorted life. They may be more lost than you are, and hence they expect you to be as miserable as they are by not realizing your purpose.

Associate with people who help you in realizing your purpose. Find the energies you resonate with. Energies with similar frequencies do not just add, they multiply. 

Do not dramatize your life by taking emotions from someone else’s life. If what you love is living in the city surrounded by people and cars’ constant chatter, you will never feel the peace in the house by the suburb. Conformation doesn’t bring you peace; it brings anxiety by keeping you guarded every waking moment.

Join with all those who experiment, take risks, fall, get hurt, and then take more risks. Stay away from those who affirm truths, who criticize those who do not think like them, people who have never once taken a step unless they were sure they would be respected for doing so, and who prefer certainties to doubts.

-Paulo Coelho

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